Changes Under Foot

A couple of weeks ago, I talked of dreams – of making those which I dreamed a bit more real. I’ve spent the last few weeks working on the plans which will do that. I’m hoping I’ve got them down.

In between whiles, I’ve also been having fun juggling full-time work with the beginnings of freelancing. I’ve been busy…I’ve also decided that I quite like working from home. Even the last few Saturdays, when I’ve been sat in front of my laptop, working. It’s been nice; I’ve felt efficient; I’ve even – dare I say it – enjoyed the work I was doing (which wasn’t, it must be admitted, particularly glamorous or exciting work). But I’ve liked being sat at my laptop, desk covered in stuff, just getting on with it. It’s been quiet and peaceful. And made me more than ever determined to become a home-worker. Especially when compared to the full-time office job…

But my plans! The changes under foot are not precisely changes; at least, not drastic ones. Simply that I will be spending this Camp NaNo working on being a more regular writer here in my Cocoary and over in my Library, and that there will be more structure to my weekly posts. My plan in the Cocoary is to write two posts a week, with each week having a different ‘theme’: Cross-Stitch, Chocolate, Crochet, and the Crafter’s Life (or just Life…). That should fill the average month. I might even manage to get at least some of them written and scheduled in advance.

The Path to Dreams

One of the …interesting… things about life is how quickly things change.

At the beginning of this year, we were planning a move Northwards. Two weeks later, we made the decision to stay in the South. Life, having been planned around said move North, is currently being reorganised for staying where we are. Surprisingly complicated for not going anywhere.

On the other hand, my current status of unemployment is giving me an opportune moment to really rethink my future and which way I want my life to go. Maybe one day soon I’ll have made a decision about my path. Knowing destinations is far easier than knowing how to get there. Shame there’s no map, but I suppose the journey’s always supposed to be the important thing, not the destination.

DSCN0468  The other important thing about the journey is being happy. Enjoying life. Having fun.

Destination: Being a Writer.

Path: To be Determined.

Plotting the Dream

I’ve talked a lot about dreams, and making dreams a reality, recently. I’m still working it out, mostly because I have minor issues with consistency. I normally have a high boredom threshold, but when it comes to doing things, I can run out of steam quite quickly. Like the marathon-runner starting at a sprint. Full of enthusiasm, I plot and plan and make notes and write pages of research.

And then, just like that, I have no desire to actually make the ideas reality. Perhaps it’s because I’ve thought it all out and written it all down. As if just by doing so, I have done it.

Pooh's Thinking Cushion; yup, it's the cushion again! Required for lots of thinking...

Pooh’s Thinking Cushion; yup, it’s the cushion again! Required for lots of thinking…

So I haven’t really got anywhere with all those plans for a crafty shop. I have, in fact, rather gone off the whole idea. I don’t want to be making the same things, even if in different fabrics each time, over and over again. I thought about designing and selling patterns, but the thought of all that VAT-nonsense for such a small endeavour is just too tiring for words. Really, I just want to be making things for me: clothes which fit and suit me, bags just because a woman can’t have too many (or is that shoes? No matter!), teddies and dressing-up things for small children I know.

And, besides, after only a week of being in charge, of even only a small business, I can’t wait for the boss-man to return. And I’ve decided that I never want to run my own shop or retail business full-time. It is by far too stressful. And I am more than ever confirmed in my belief that the customers are what’s wrong with working in Retail. I don’t mind the admin (actually, that I quite like; I know, I’m weird), but I do dislike dealing with customers. Sorry, customers. I’m just not a people-person.

Instead, I shall focus on my own world, where they know and love me. There is something wonderfully focusing about trading in one rubbish, just-for-the-moment, it’ll-do job for pretty much another. If I want my dreams of being a writer and novelist to come true, then I’ve got to get my arse in gear and get on with it. My time is limited, so I must be more efficient with it.

And get Mark to do far more of the housework.

The Simple Things

Sometimes, the simple things are best.

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Leaving my beloved kittens behind, I have returned to life in the Real World. It is a life in which I shall have little time to myself, to dedicate to my dreams, since I’m about to take up full-time employment. I’m working out how best to proceed with all of that, and organising my time efficiently. I’m hoping that the need to be efficient in my professional life will rub off into my personal life and I’ll suddenly become hyper-organised all round.

Really, I need to work out how not to be tired when I come home from work.

Thus it is that I’ve had little time or energy to do any actual baking. I’ve gone with a recipe which I know like the back of my hand, and which takes barely ten minutes, rolling the truffles not included.

Simply melt together 200g chocolate, 50g unsalted butter and 50ml double cream. When it’s melted and smooth, pour into a bowl and leave in the fridge to set. Roll into balls on a cocoa-powder-covered surface and return to the fridge to set some more. Eat, enjoy.

Creating the Dream

The dream of making a living doing what one loves, that is, and not having to work for someone else doing some soul-destroyingly dull and tedious job.

I am very much a dreamer, thinking up new and glorious ways of being able to make a living from the comfort of my own home, which doesn’t involve me having to actually go out and get a job. Now, I’ve never been a careerist; I still don’t know what I want to do “when I grow up”, apart from, that is, do what I want to do and enjoy my life, and not need an alarm clock to wake me up every morning. But then, don’t we all?

Anyway, my current shiny plans for fame and fortune include lots of cross-stitch and others of my hobbies, and I’m beginning to make the attempt to Take Them Seriously. Not as hobbies. But as actual, possible, money-making ventures.

I’m still in the researching stage, which I figure will take the next few months or so, but really, the biggest hurdle (for me, anyway) is to actually do something about these dreams, and not just dream them.

Now, because I don’t want to have to start afresh with a new blog – to keep the branding all the same and etc. – I’m going to be playing around with themes and stuff on this blog, now that I have finally worked out why I started it in the first place. (I’ll admit, this was another of those spur-of-the-moment whims.) But I think I’m finally finding my feet on it properly, and I don’t want to give that up, but equally, I feel the need for a change. Bear with me while I have a little play, but have no fear: I’ll still be here, stitching and baking away!

In the Hall of the Mountain Queen

Apparently I bore easily. This has gone from being a crafty/fashion/food blog to being a book-and-recipe blog, and still I don’t quite feel like it fits. Like that’s just a bit limiting, really. That and I don’t read nearly enough to be able to write about the books I’m currently reading. Certainly not on a weekly basis. I’ve already had to push the Shakespeares onto an alternate week basis.

I lay claim to the title writer, but really? I’m on the internet, flitting from gorgeous dresses I can’t afford through recipes I read for the pictures to fabulous lives I feel unable to live. I think about my writing a lot and I plan stories in some detail but I’m always distracted.

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I’m what we might call one of life’s dreamers. I make plans and build castles in the air, and in my head, I’m the Queen. I rule my world with confidence and grace, like the actresses of yore ruled the screen. In reality, I’m sat on the sofa complaining that I’ve eaten too much or that nothing exciting happens in my life. I’m waiting for life to happen, rather than making it happen.

Well, no more. It’s time to be proactive for a change. It’s time to take control of my own destiny. And all those other clichés. I’m not sure what I’m going to be writing about, but it’ll be a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Observations on life, recipes I’m testing, books I read (I’m going to keep up the Shakespeare – I think it’s high time I read them all), hobbies I try on for size. It feels terribly self-centred and narcissistic to write about my life, but write what you know, right? I’ll try to keep it entertaining.

 

Welcome to the Hall of the Mountain Queen.