“Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.”
As Mark and I reach our First Anniversary this weekend (Paper, so a card will do…), I had planned to write about what I’ve learned of Marriage during this last year. But really, I don’t think I’m qualified yet. We’ve only been married a year, after all, and I don’t honestly feel much different to when we were just living together.
We laugh together and squabble together much as we always did. We do things together and we do things separately. I try not to be a nag (don’t always succeed) and he tries to do things so I don’t have to nag (doesn’t always succeed).
And we’re still friends, when all is said and done. We’re a team, united against the world and the questions about when we’re going to have a baby (answer: not yet, please stop asking).
Lots of the quotations out there about marriage talk about how much hard work it is, and joke about perceived negatives – there’s an amusing one by Groucho Marx about Marriage being an institution, but who wants to live in one of those? – and maybe I haven’t been married long enough to appreciate how difficult it is, but I think maybe people think too much about it.
As my mother might say, you’ve just got to get on with it. Once you’ve made the decision, and the commitment, stop thinking about it and just do it. You get out of it what you put into it. It’s the little things – the early-morning cups of tea or coffee – as well as the grand gestures and bunches of flowers.
At the end of the day, if you can still make each other laugh, nothing else really matters.