Apparently, I’m Behind. I have Lots to Do. And I don’t have a lot of time in which to do it. Apparently. Really, I should have scheduled at least eighteen months for this, but I’m only giving myself about eleven. What can I say? I’m a glutton for punishment. Or something.
And what is it that requires so much time and effort on my part?
Well, it can only be one thing: I’m getting married! (Cue excited squeals.)
Which, if I’m to do “properly”, (by which I mean, as the magazines suggest) means that I’m going to need about £20K (so a mortgage deposit) and at least a year and a half of my life, working full-time to plan and organise this with military precision, because this is the Happiest Day of My Life and it must be Perfect. Or I shall scream and cry and kick my feet.
Actually, I had a discussion about this a few weeks back with my sister, and we came to the conclusion that a wedding is not about the bride or the groom. It is, in fact, about the bride’s outfit. The Dress. It is, in fact, the Dress’s day. Nobody and nothing else matters. All about the Dress.
(I’d like to take the opportunity to say that I shall do my best to stop this from becoming a bridal blog: I think there’s plenty of good ones already out there. But I shall occasionally witter on when the planning gets a bit stressful. As it no doubt shall since I don’t have nearly enough time. Allegedly.)
I mean, how long, really, does it actually take to plan a wedding? Really? I remember once overhearing somebody at school saying how it would take them about a month to organise a party. Really? It can easily be done in a week. (Obviously I’m not saying that a wedding can be organised in a week – it takes longer than that to give notice in England – but you get my drift.) I just can’t help thinking that we’re told we need long engagements to make us spend more money. The longer you take, the more Important Details you think of that need sorting.